Forgive as you've been forgiven — say what??

I've always found forgiveness one of the toughest of Christian virtues. Case in point, I was out for a jog today (attempting to get back into a shape other than round) when a careless driver nearly made me a hood ornament on her Lexus. I was a bit stunned for a minute, and of course there was the temptation to get angry and bitter. Of course, putting someone's life in jeopardy may stir up some righteous indignation, but anything we hold on to beyond that can become poisonous.

That small incident has been a microcosm of my spiritual life oftentimes. When we're hurt, wounded or offended, we wrap ourselves in the blanket of unforgiveness, not understanding that it's tattered and soiled and will leave us smelling bad in the end. It reminds me of the parable Jesus told in Matthew 18 about the servant who was forgiven a huge debt.

²³ “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. ²⁴ In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. ²⁵ He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.

²⁶ “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ ²⁷ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

²⁸ “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.

²⁹ “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. ³⁰ But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

³¹ “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. ³² Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. ³³ Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ ³⁴ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

³⁵ “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

To me, this is one of the most convicting parables in scripture. God seems harsh, but how hypocritical is it to hold on to the sins of others while asking that our sins be forgiven? I know that I'm so dependent on God's forgiveness, but was so slow to forgive myself. Today, I told God that I just wanted to give it up to him and not hold any anger toward this woman. Chances are, she's long forgotten about me, so unforgiveness would only hurt me. Add to that the fact that there are folks who have forgiven far worse offenses, and you can see why I'd be a fool hold any grudges.