I've never thought much about it until recently, but laziness is a huge reason why I've shunned Christian community in the past. In order to form bonds with other believers, it takes crawling out of my apartment, and sometimes I give into laziness. Not that I dislike the awesome friends that God has blessed me — quite the opposite — but I haven't taken the time to develop friendships. Perhaps that's one of the reasons why Proverbs warns so much about laziness.
I'd like to think I've come a long way from where I was in high school, when I was a shut-in. I didn't bother with clubs and activities, and I regret it. It was too easy to drown in my depression and watch TV all day. My attitude wasn't where it should have been, either.
There are several lessons I've learned that have helped me learn the value of great friendships, and here they are:
1. Having a positive attitude is a must. No one wants to hang out with someone who's cranky all the time and never has anything decent to say. It's true what mothers always say: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
2. Having a giving/serving attitude won't let you down. I know I'm still working on this point, but I'm thinking of ways that I can serve and give back to my friends. Scripture teaches us that we need to give even to strangers, but giving and serving is always an outpouring of love, and it's a way we can show gratitude to our friends for what they do for us.
3. Leaving the drama at home is a great idea. With all the issues we have to deal with at work and in other relationships, it's better to be an umbrella than a rain cloud. Helping people who are hurting is a great way to show you care. I've realized that you don't even have to — and probably shouldn't — find all the answers to the problems friends are facing. It's better to be an ear than a mouth.
4. Calling more than twice a year helps keep ties strong. I know that the Lord may bring some folks into our lives for a season, but I still love keeping in touch with all the folks I've met over the past 29 years. Facebook has been a great — if distracting — way to hold on to friendships. Of course, it should never take the place of face-to-face encounters. It's far easier to say hurtful things to people from behind a computer screen than to someone's face, so I always advise caution — and probably an occasional phone call.
5. Of course, the best things I can do is to stay close to Christ and scripture. If I'm not keeping Jesus first in my life, it shows. It's amazing how quickly our lives can go from fantastic to floundering. If I'm not walking with Christ, it's blatantly obvious to anyone, and it's tough for friends to watch me fall flat on my face. The best way I can be a good friend is to strive to be the person that Christ wants me to be. In that manner, I can be a blessing, rather than a burden. Withdrawal from community is one of the first signs of a failing Christian.
I can't express how amazing the people in my life are, and one day I might just make it a project to send each one of them a small note just to let them know. After all, building community is one of the best ways to build our faith on a foundation of rock.
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